Showing Appreciation With a Pensierino
From language learning to gift giving, you'll be making meaningful connections in no time.
Growing up in an Italian-American family, with brief summer trips to Sicily, I never actually learned the language as a kid. It’s definitely easier to learn at a young age, but now that I’m living in Italy, there are plenty of opportunities to practice and improve.
As many English speakers as there might be in your new city, it’s important to still push yourself to speak the language. It’s normal to make mistakes even if it can be intimidating at first. And for the non-touristy tasks, like making medical appointments, some knowledge of the language really is needed. Though you might be lucky enough to have an Italian speaking friend while still getting the hang of it!
Speaking the language, even if just a few words, can also be seen as a sign of respect when meeting someone new or seeking help. A simple “Piacere” (Pleasure (to meet you)) or “Scusa, parla Inglese?” (Excuse me, do you speak English?) can go a long way.
Repetition really is key when it comes to learning new words and phrases. Pensiero, pensierino, regalo, and regalino are four words with basically the same meaning that always stuck in my memory. A thought, a little thought, a gift, and a little gift.
Gift giving is important here in Italy. It’s customary to show one’s appreciation, especially when welcomed into someone else’s home or when gathering for a special occasion. It’s pretty comforting to think of the similarities Italy and your home country might have. For me, it’s the U.S.. Even there, I never went to a dinner party empty handed. But, in Italy, I’ve still enjoyed this kind gesture.
Especially when making new connections, it’s an easy way to make a nice impression. This might look like a box of cookies, a bottle of wine or even flowers. If buying flowers, try to avoid chrysanthemums. Around the world, they’re known for happiness, well-being, joy, and prosperity. While in Italy, they’re most commonly used in sad occasions, like funerals.
A pensiero can be gifted to someone who’s going through a tough time. Think about the cards in Target and CVS, or other North American stores, that say “Thinking of you”. It can also be for no reason at all. Maybe you tried some amazing olive oil at an agriturismo that you just had to share. You could gift a bottle to your friend if they came to mind while experiencing this.
Before moving into an apartment here, the landlord invited me to her home rather than the rental to sign the papers. Even if it was for convenience, I wanted to stay on the safe side. She’d been super responsive, patient with my Italian skills, and had the most lovely rental, so I made sure to schedule time to pick up a small box of cookies on the way. She was very happy with the gesture.
It’s even customary to bring small gifts for kids if visiting a family. This is typically when you’re very close with the family or a member of the family. Think of small toys and sweet treats, simple. For both kids and adults, holiday-related gift giving could be a post of its own. Luckily we’re still a ways away from the holiday season.
If you’re on the receiving end of this nice norm, it’s a chance to try some words and phrases, like “Grazie mille” (Thanks a million) or “Che bel regalo!” (What a beautiful gift!). Maybe even, “Ma non dovevi”, (You shouldn’t have). Like in English, there’s a special verb for gift giving, “regalare” instead of simply giving “dare”. And if you’re responding, maybe you’ll say “Di niente!” (It’s nothing!”) or “Prego… certo” (You’re welcome… of course).
For those of you who have already made the move, has this gift giving etiquette ever caught you by surprise? And do you have any unique gift ideas you’d like to share?
It really is the thought that counts. Soon you’ll be forming long lasting friendships with these simple acts of appreciation.